Caution when using my words

I have never been the person to gossip. I’ve been a victim of gossip and it does not feel good. I never wanted to be the person that talks about people behind their backs. I am a really blunt, straight forward, cut and dry person. I find it utterly unreasonable to beat around bushes especially when it is a matter that needs to be confronted. I’ve been this type of person for quite a while now. Knowing this fact about me, I find myself giving a disclaimer before I share what I have to share with a person. This is particularly the for the people that really do not know me. For those that do know me I still give a disclaimer because there are days where all my eloquent vernacular fails me and I just have to tell it like it is.

Real talk! But I digress.

I do all that I can to not gossip or be a part of groups that are gossiping <- that’s sometimes hard because I can be nosy! (Heaven Help me!) Lately I’ve found myself to be one to gossip and talk about people behind their backs. Why have I suddenly taken up this new hobby? My answer may not be the BEST answer but it is an answer. It is MY answer. Well,  I’ve been speaking from a place of hurt. A deep hurt that is seeping from a gaping wound in the depth of my soul. The saying “Hurt People, hurt people” Has been proven true in these past couple of months and I am saddened and filled with guilt because of what I’ve become.  Let me not be so Dramatic, but this has been popping up a bit too frequently and I need it to come to an end.

James talks about the tongue and how such a small organ can do SO MUCH damage. I have a long way to go to use my words to bless a person and not curse. To Edify and uplift a person and not tear them down.

Things have been heart wrenching and hard for me but God, In all of this, GOD still manages to let me know that is He is an EVER PRESENT HELP (Psalm 46:1).  He sends a word of encouragement through HIS word the bible or through another person. There are times I feel his presence so heavy in me that is feels like He is hugging my spirit! There are times peace, YES PEACE, is just sitting right there next to me. I rather all of these wonderful things that I find in Christ Jesus above the guilt, shame and headache that comes with gossip or bad mouthing people.